Review: I Was Here *trigger warning*

I Was Here
by Gayle Forman

Synopsis

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of If I Staycomes "a heartbreaking novel about coping with loss" (People).
 
When her best friend, Meg, commits suicide by drinking a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything—so how did she miss the signs of Meg's depression? But when Cody travels to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that there’s a lot that Meg never told her. About her old roommates, the sort of people Cody never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. About Ben McAllister, the boy with a guitar and a sneer, and some secrets of his own. And about an encrypted computer file that Cody can’t open—until she does, and suddenly everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death gets thrown into question.
 
"I Was Here is a pitch-perfect blend of mystery, tragedy, and romance. Gayle Forman has given us an unflinchingly honest portrait of the bravery that it takes to live after devastating loss."
—Stephen Chbosky, author of the #1 New York Timesbestselling The Perks of Being a Wallflower

synopsis from Amazon.com

Review

*Trigger Warning*

Gayle Forman does it again with this heart-wrenching book about a girl, Cody, and her reaction to the news that her best friend has committed suicide. The story takes us along for the ride as Cody learns information about Meg that surprises her. We also follow Cody as she realizes that grief is not black and white and there are actually many emotions that she is ALLOWED to have. Sadness. Anger. Guilt. Acceptance. - and everything in between. 

As someone who works in the mental health field, I truly appreciated this "behind-the-scenes" look at how it feels to be one of the people left behind when someone completes their suicide plan. Many people feel guilty and feel they should have seen the signs. The truth is that no one expects their loved one or even their acquaintance to commit suicide. And sometimes there are no visible signs that one can see. This is why it's important for us all to keep an open dialogue about mental health....to speak our minds when we feel that something is not right. Sometimes, all we need to do is listen. Listening to a loved one or even a random person can make a huge difference and become the encouragement that person needs for them to get help. I feel that this book did a wonderful job in portraying the story of those left behind...and just how complicated the human condition can get. 

Verdict

This story is worth reading, but it can also be difficult for those who have attempted or know someone who has attempted or completed suicide. Please - if you aren't ready to read, it's okay to skip for now. If you feel that reading and discussing it with someone who is understanding and patient will help, please do so. 

If you or anyone you know has had thoughts of suicide (or you want to know more about helping others), please read the information below:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1 (800) 273-8255

Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week

Languages: English, Spanish

Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Review: Playlist for the Dead

Synopsis

Part mystery, part love story, and part coming-of-age tale in the vein of The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Spectacular Now.

There was a party. There was a fight. The next morning, Sam's best friend, Hayden, was dead. And all he left Sam was a playlist of songs and a suicide note: For Sam—listen and you'll understand. To figure out what happened, Sam has to rely on the playlist and his own memory. But the more he listens, the more he realizes that his memory isn't as reliable as he thought. And it might only be by taking out his earbuds and opening his eyes to the people around him that he'll finally be able to piece together his best friend's story. And maybe have a chance to change his own.

Playlist for the Dead is an honest and gut-wrenching first novel about loss, rage, what it feels like to outgrow a friendship that's always defined you—and the struggle to redefine yourself. But above all, it's about finding hope when hope seems like the hardest thing to find.

Review

I really enjoyed this book which surprised me because I borrowed it on a whim from the library. There have been a lot of YA books coming out lately that are centered around suicide. I find that intriguing and sad. Please read no further if suicide is a trigger for you.

This book...this book was surprising. It is exactly what they tell you it is - part mystery, love story and coming of age. All mixed up with a whole bunch of sadness. I found it to be quite real in the way everyone is described and how feelings are explained. There is this utter sadness that is laced throughout the whole book because of Hayden's death. What could cause someone to kill themselves? Why leave a playlist for your friend to listen to? So many questions and yet, not everything is answered. The book doesn't tidy things up for the reader. I read in some reviews that some readers didn't like not knowing certain things, but the truth and reality is that in real life, you don't always know why people do what they do. 

Sam was a believable character and, although I usually gravitate to female protagonists,  I can honestly say that I enjoyed living inside Sam's head - even if he was sad. There was an innocence in his sadness, but an understanding too. My feelings about this book are hard to explain. I found myself pulled in from the very first page and was sad to let go of the characters. It reminded me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but at the same time it is an entity all its own. I loved it and am looking forward to more from this author (this is her first book). 

Also, each chapter has a different song connected to it. I collected all the songs and made a playlist on Spotify. If you would like to listen to it, just click here. 

Verdict

Read it and feel sad. Then, feel thankful (hopefully).